Unfortunately, I didn't get any feedback from the last elevator pitch, so I self-evaluated myself. Looking back, I should have worn a suit jacket and I should have sounded more dynamic. This time around, I decided to sound more energetic in the beginning to serve as a better hook. Then, I realized that I didn't explain in detail about how I can really benefit the customer, so I entertained that idea even more. This is what I ended up altering during this video.
Andy, for some reason your video is not playing. Feel free to delete my comment after you fix it, I will obviously won't submit it as my "feedback" ;)
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